A twin mom was in a dilemma after only one of her twin daughters was invited to a classmate’s birthday party. She shared her feelings about the complicated situation on her TikTok, where she posts videos under the username, @thefoxsaystwins.
“I knew this day would come, but I was so not prepared for it. It’s been bugging me the entire drive to work,” Kristen Fox begins in her video.
“Last night, we received an invitation for one of my two twin girls to go to a birthday party. Yeah, one of the two of them. And if you’re new, I have almost five-year-old twins. They are in TK and they’re in the same class and the invite came and it was only for one of them.”
She goes on to say that she’s been wondering about how to handle the situation, knowing in the back of her head that these kinds of issues would come up with her twins, but hoping it would be a little later down the line.
“I feel like it’s an all-or-nothing situation. So either both are going to the party or none are going to the party. The gut is that I’m going to message the mom who I don’t know and just say, ‘Hi. Thanks so much for the invite. I wanted to see if it was for one or both of the girls to come since they’re in the same class. Either answer is fine. But just let me know.’ And if the answer is one of them, the answer is gonna be an RSVP of ‘no’ from us because I literally cannot think about the hurt that that will cause in the girl that was not invited.”
Unsurprisingly, people had some big feelings about Fox’s choice to give the mom of the birthday kid an “all or nothing” response.
“Imagine the invited twin — I can’t go to the bday bc my sisters feelings are more important than mine. Thats the message being set,” one user wrote.
An actual twin weighed in as well and wrote, “Twin here… PLEASE don’t take away the opportunity of the one child to attend bc the other was not invited. That’s life. I love the idea of going to do something fun one on one during the party time.”
Another said, “Well they are two different kids …”
“I have twins who are now grown. I agree with others that it’s ok for one to do something without the other. It’s important to have their own identity and to learn that early on,” another wrote.
The OP replied, “But for a birthday party?”
“Adult twin here. Please let your kids have their own friend groups. I never wanted to be forced to go places just bc my sister was invited and same for her. I know you are protecting their feelings…,” another wrote.
Fox responded, “They can totally have their own friend groups… But when they’re in the same class and most of the other class is invited …I have a problem”
After the video went mega-viral, Fox made some follow-up videos on the situation including an update after she did, in fact, reach out to the birthday kid’s mom.
“I still don’t think it was wrong to reach out. I made it very clear when I messaged the mom that I was embarrassed to even be sending the message,” Fox told PEOPLE. “Either answer was totally okay and I truly mean that. It’s just that right now, I didn’t feel like I was in a place to pick up the pieces for the one who wasn’t invited because I don’t think there’s anything I could have done with her to make up for missing a birthday party with her friends that her sister was included in at this age.”
Reaching out turned out to be the right move because Kristen learned the whole situation was in fact a big mix-up.
“I had other twin parents that reached out [on TikTok] and were like, ‘Hey was this from Evite?’ Because they’d had the same problem. Knowing that, I looked it up and it was true,” she explains. “It was actually a glitch!”
“Evite doesn’t let you include the same email address twice. So the mom uploaded the class roster and since both my daughters have my contact information identical, it only went out to one.”
She continued, “Once I shared what really happened, the comments were more positive, but some people were like, ‘You gave her no choice. You forced her hand.’ I don’t agree with that, but I know I followed my gut.”
